Let Go, Let God

One of my mother's sayings that has stuck with me - Let Go, Let God. Monday afternoon we did just that, we let go and let God.

Saturday afternoon Mom let us know that she "was ready." Late afternoon on Monday April 5th, mom was surrounded by eleven family members as the ventilator was turned off and she was provided oxygen through an oxygen shield. She received a morphine drip beginning at approximately 4:15pm. When she was deep asleep the ventilator was turned off - approximately 5:35pm.

She had short periods of alertness throughout Monday daytime, allowing for everyone to tell her their individual sweet good-byes.

It was a day filled with both heartbreaking moments and "take your breath away" moments. I anticipated that her passing would be quick, however I was very wrong.

Two of mom's sisters came from St Louis (Mary Louise and Rose Mary), and Dan and Shane came from Oklahoma.

At one point during the afternoon mom asked to sit up on the edge of her bed. This was a first! We were shocked that she wanted to do it, and we knew it would be incredibly hard on her, but we wanted to abide by her wishes. It was very painful for her, however I think it meant a lot to her to be able to look at everyone from a normal perspective one last time. She again demonstrated what incredible inner strength she has.

Throughout the evening we listened to classical music playing from Dad's computer. We got to hear share many stories about when we were growing up, and Dad told us stories about them dating, mom accepting his marriage proposal, their wedding, their honeymoon... many fun stories! Mom seemed to be hearing much of what we were talking about, and she would squeeze our hands (hand hugs) when something was funny, or meaningful to her. I would like to think that all of these stories gave her happy dreams.

Yes it was a super painful experience for all of us. By far the worst experience of my life. However, we are all relieved that mom will no longer have to suffer. She gradually began to breathe slower and slower. She exhaled her last breath at 9:35am Tuesday, 16 hours after being taken off the ventilator. I believe this was our very first family all nighter - and we are all way too old for staying up all night!

I am grateful to have had the opportunity to keep you all informed the past 3 months - and I am grateful that our family was all together helping mom to let go, and let God.

It is now time for us to celebrate Mom's life.

Tentative plans are for her visitation to be Friday night at Penwell-Gabel funeral home (Rosary 5:30, Visitation 6:00) and her funeral service to be Saturday morning at Prince of Peace Church (10:00am), 16000 W 143rd, Olathe, KS 66062.

Thank you for all of your prayers and well wishes throughout Mom's long ordeal!